Why is it such a big deal to go right in to college! I understand, however I
just don\'t know what I want to do yet. I know I want to do something that has to
do with criminal justice. As in the FBI. I just think that would be so cool. It
would make me happy and Iíll get paid O.K. My plans were to graduate, then
stay with my mom for a year and just work 2 jobs, maybe take a class at U.A.A.

So, I can keep with the whole study thing. Oh, and I would go into the Air Guard
also. They really help with collage. Then a friend and me would get an apartment
and split the rent. I would then go to U.A.A for 2 years and after that I would
transfer to the University of my Choice. I got all of these ideas from my
sister. I look up to my sister a lot. I learn from her experiences. She never
took her SAT\'s and she did really badly in high school. But, when she went to

U.A.A she got really good grades then she transferred over to N.Y.U. It\'s the

3rd hardest college to get into for her field! So, ya know if she can do it so
can I. My father on the other hand! He thinks I should go to Grays Harbor

Community College. And if I do, then I can live with him and he will pay for my

BOOKS! If you don\'t know, Grays Harbor is a really bad college, it is worse then

U.A.A. Even if I wanted to go, my mom wouldn\'t let me! I mean come on; he will
help me pay for my BOOKS that\'s a real help. I remember one day I was in the
truck with my dad and we were talking about colleges and he said " you
can\'t go to a good college like your sister, you just cant. You\'re not like her.

And, I\'m sure as hell I\'m not going to pay that much!" I told him I don\'t
expect him to pay for anything. My sister went through college with out her
dad\'s help, so I can do it to. Every time I try and talk to him about the
university that I\'m interested in or when I tell him I want to be in the law or
psychology field, he just changes the subject! He makes me so mad. Also,
whenever I bring up any thing to do with collage he gives me this huge big guilt
trip! Mom on the other hand, she gives me space to think of what I want. She is
happy if I\'m happy. I know I will go to collage no mater what. I know I might
have to pay for college my self and that\'s fine by me! I don\'t need my dads
help. My mom on the other hand, helped Eva as much as she could. Eva\'s school
cost $34,000 a year and that\'s what my mom makes in a year. So you do the math.

I learned from my sister! Loans, grants, scholarships, apply for ALL of them!

Even the little scholarships. They ALL add up. My counselor makes me feel like I
have to go strait into my university right after I graduate. She really wants me
to take my SAT\'s. I guess I will, but if I do, then I\'m going to take them as
many times as I can. I want to be able to choose the best score and if there
good enough then I will send them to colleges. My mom says I don\'t have to take
them and that makes me feel a little better. I\'m just really worried that I\'m
not going to do well. I like my SAT class. I really do. The part that I like the
most is the tests that tell me what I would be good at. It reassures me. But
that\'s all I really like about it. Other than that I feel like I\'m being rushed.

Like I need to be in a big hurry. I\'m really in no rush to graduate. I know that
sounds really weird but hay its a free education. I have been here since I was
in 7th grade. I feel really comfterbal here! For a long time all I could think
about was getting out of high school. Now all I think about are the things